We busted out of the hospital!!

We have survived the week of the VA hospital!!

Checked in Monday morning, took Aiden off of all of his anti-convulsant medications, and sat us in the bed. 

Aiden looked so funny with his leads all over his head.  Sadly, the only picture I got was after the put a bandage wrap on the  whole thing to keep the leads on there better.  They don't allow cell phones to be on in the room so the fact that I got any pictures was contraband.

We noticed that Aiden was completely out of it for the entire first 24 hours.  They told us later that it is because of his pain meds that he is having these narcoleptic-like episodes.  Basically, they claim he is stoned out of his mind.  Ha ha! 

The morphine was also to blame for some of his jerking and spasming, apparently.

I'm not sure that all of this behavior is to be blamed on the pain meds, he was also having these episodes before he had morphine or hydrocodone but they were less severe and less often so I guess I will be happy if we just get back to that place.

Anyway, no seizures were happening.  So we played PS3 games.  We started with Pinball for the blinking lights.  Sure, this will bring on a seizure, right?

No.  But we did replace all of the high scores.  And I don't think anyone will ever catch us.  On Medieval Madness, we scored 49 million points in one turn.  That's not an exaggeration, it's a fact.  49 million points.

Sadly, it was the most exciting thing to happen all week. 

Because Aiden continued to be unhelpful in the seizure department, in spite of flashing lights on games, sleep deprivation, high levels of caffeine and sugar, strobe lights in his face, and forced hyperventilation, the doctors wanted us to stay until Saturday.  We politely declined, having decided that our sanity and our backsides could not handle one more day of sleeping there.  A was confined strictly to his bed and while I was able to leave the room if I needed/wanted, the bed was basically my only choice of where to sit in the room.  And they both sucked.

So we busted out (with doctor's permission) of the VA on Friday afternoon.  We have a new anti-convulsant for the next 3 months, a follow-up scheduled for then, and no diagnosis.  Which is the best thing that could have happened, really.  They are looking to chalk it up to the 'perfect storm' of stress in December, and if he remains seizure-free for the next 3 months, we will wean him off of all the anti-epileptics and officially close this door in our lives. 

Every one of those wires goes to a different spot on his head. 

I'm not sure I will ever trust him to drive again, though. 

Clearly this blog has gone by the wayside for some time now.  I try to update.  I think about updates.  I fail to update.  But here is what I am hoping will be the mother of all updates. 

Also known as "my big fat excuse for not updating for so long". 

December 1st I got a phone call at work.  It was Aiden.  He said "I think, um, that I, um, passed out? Um, yeah.  Could you, come?  Now?  I don't know what happened.  I'm bleeding."

I got in the car and came home to find all three kids ready to give me an update and one very freaked out Aiden sitting on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on his lip.  Now, I have a first aid card so I looked at the cut and thought it looked a little big.  Mostly, though, I was concerned with the part where he passed out.  I called a triage nurse at the VA and, after a bunch of questions, she recommended we go to the ER.  So off we went to SMMC.  This was a natural choice between the 2 hospitals since Aiden had just spent 4 days in the ICU for a bleeding ulcer in November in the same facility.  (awesome)

The doc at the ER said he thought the passing out (syncope) was caused by a new prescription.  Yes, Aiden had started a new script that day but he had been on this drug for 4 years before and it had only been 2 years since he stopped it.  And he had only taken 1 pill, 4 hours before this happened.  But okay, we knew.  Don't take the pill.  Follow up with primary care physician within a week. 

We go home.  Aiden already had an appointment for the 7th scheduled with his doctor so we just get on with our lives. 

December 6th.  It's a Tuesday.  Aiden had a math final he was going to take in the proctoring center at the college.  He needed the car so he was riding with me to work so he could take the car.  I pull up to a stoplight.  Aiden goes into full tonic-clonic seizure.  (This is what we used to call grand-mal seizures.  They changed the name. )

I freak out after I figure out he's not playing some seriously jacked up game.  I pull over, call 911, and take him directly to SMMC. Again.  On the way, he regains consciousness.  He's very confused about where we are going and why.  He says he is fine, even as he is still dripping spit and snot from his face.  He is not yet aware of these fluids. 

I pull into the ambulance bay and Aiden tries to get out of the car.  Um, no.  I force him to sit until the nurses come out with a wheelchair.  They take him into a room and I go park the car.  By the time I get into the ER with him, they have decided he is clearly a drug-addict.  The inability to answer questions with any authority has NOTHING to do with him having just had a seizure.  Nothing related to him having been unconscious.  All they can see is that he has piercings and tattoos.  He is transgendered and so he MUST be ON SOMETHING.  The doctor just kept repeating "what did you take?  What did you take, Ai-DEN?" 

Later I found out that he ran a tox-screen to find out for himself what Ai-DEN had taken since neither he nor his "WIFE" (which is exactly how it's written in his notes in the ER report) would tell him truthfully. 

After the tox screen came back, we only saw the doctor one time.  He came to do an ultrasound of Aiden's heart as he was holding a steady heartbeat at 149 for about 2 hours. 

He said that I clearly did not know what a seizure looked like and that I had brought A in because of a syncopal event.  That there is often twitching and shaking to accompany passing out (syncope is fainting) and that I was wasting their time.  He did treat the elevated heart rate with some adenosine.  He discharged A with a heart rate at 99 and said we should really get in with a cardiologist as he had heard a murmur.

The next morning Aiden had an appointment with his doctor's fill-in (doc is on maternity leave).  Ms. Rupe, NP, had all kinds of things to say about what was going on.  She immediately told us to go home and pack a bag; we were going to Portland to the seizure clinic.  She sent us to SMMC to get an MRI and had a massive plan of action in place.  She also told us he cannot drink, take antidepressants, or drive (duh) until further notice. 

Later that week we were told that we would go to the seizure clinic on January 5th since this wasn't that big of a deal and they were closed due to holidays and the days they were open were fully booked already.  This is the first time I let myself cry about this whole thing.  There was no help and I was being told that he utter and unrelenting confusion and disorientation was normal and I needed to just deal with it.  Um, I AM NOT A NURSE!!

Saturday, December 10th.  My birthday.  Aiden  dinks around all day and is very shaky and just... OFF.  He decides to take a shower.  I get in with him since he is so very shaky and unbalanced.  I get his hair washed and rinsed.  I put the shower head back in the holder and turn around just in time to catch him as he falls into a tonic clonic seizure. 

I have Alex call 911 as there is NO WAY that I can get Aiden out of the tub on my own.  I get his robe and some clothes in a bag and get the kids ready to go to the hospital.  The EMTs help A out of the tub and take us to General hospital.  After the last visit to SMMC, no way was I headed back there.

General has a great ER doc who is quite serious about fixing this.  He points out that A's eyes are still seizing even after the major event is over.  He does some poking and prodding and makes other parts of him seize also (feet, hands, etc).  This man gives us a prescription for ativan and says to take one if any pre-seizure activity starts.  Like the jerking and shaking all morning.  It will help ward off any major activity.  YESSS!!!!

The next morning, Aiden bounces out of bed at 6 am.  He says it's time to rise and shine.  He says he feels bright eyed and bushy tailed.  I sense that something is very wrong.  Aiden is NOT a morning person.  I have never heard him say "bright eyed and bushy tailed" without saying "fucking" in front of it while mocking someone else who says it seriously.

I tell him if he wants to get out of bed, he needs to go see if Alex is awake and can babysit him; I have not showered or slept in 2 days and I am damn tired.  I can't go back to sleep and as I finally drag my ass out of bed, Alex comes running in the room to say that he thinks Aiden needs one of his pills, he is jerking and shaking. 

Now up to this point, none of the kids have seen a seizure.  I have not heard Aiden hit the floor though so I know he's not seizing yet.  I get him one of his pills and make him sit in the recliner.  He starts to calm down so I tell him I am going to go to the bathroom and I will be back.  I tell Alex to watch him.  2 minutes later I am peeing and hear the chair go all crazy.  Alex comes running down the hall to say he thinks Aiden is having a seizure, should he call 911? 

I get Aiden loaded up the car and make an executive decision that Alex is old enough to babysit a sleeping Ashley and an Annie that had come running down the hall to catch the end of the seizure show.  The kids stay home this time. 

We are in and out of General in 1 hour and 14 minutes.  While this is record fast, it is frustrating since there was no real help.  The doc this time tells me that I need to call 911 after a seizure so the EMTs can draw blood in the back of the ambulance to check for prolactin which is apparently produced in the body during a seizure but only lasts for 15 minutes in the bloodstream.  Without a prolactin level, he says, no one will ever take me seriously about it being a seizure.

As a fun part, Aiden is hallucinating.  A lot.  He is very apologetic to the IV pole that it is not a person.  He keeps seeing children sitting in and on things in the ER room.  The doctor tells me this is just from the ativan and I should get used to it. 

I am tired of people telling me to get used to it.

The next day, I call Ms. Rupe.  She is my only ally in this.  She gets us in for an EEG at SMMC.  It takes 9 hours from entry to exit.  I haven't been to work since the 5th.  I miss work.  No one seizes there.

The doctor finally gets the results from the EEG from Spokane.  They didn't see anything except slow brain waves.  Well, maybe that's from Aiden sleeping through the whole thing, right?

We go to Ms. Rupe the next day.  She is pissed.  She wants answers.  I love her.  She uses the F-bomb and is not shy about it.  She is scattered and flustered with me and I love her.  She acts how I feel and I love her.

She gets on the phone with the seizure clinic.  She tells them this is unacceptable to wait until January 5th. 

2 days later, we go to Portland.  (I love her)

The neurologist, Dr. Motica, is patient and curious and thorough as anything I have ever seen.  He leaves us in the room and watches the MRI films.  He says there is a shadowy place in the right temporal lobe.  The original doctor to read the films says it is old blood.  They say it is benign.  Dr. Motica says that they didn't run the type of contrast needed to be able to say that with any authority.  He orders another MRI with epileptic protocol.  And an angio-gram of the brain. 

It takes a little time for us to get back into SMMC to get this MRI done.  Aiden is now on anti-seizure meds (thanks, Dr. Motica) and wears a medic-alert unit ("I've fallen and I can't get up")  *(Thanks Ms. Rupe.)  (I love her).  I go back to work.

Since the beginning of the year, Aiden has continued to have break-through seizures but they are very small.  No tonic/clonic seizures.  We are still a shit show but we are a more put together shit show.  Finally, some sense of normalcy.  I must have gotten used to it.

The cardiologist in Portland had Aiden wear a portable heart monitor for a month.  They did a skype appointment where the doctor said that even though his heart rate is not normal, it is not a problem.  He says Aiden is just incredibly out of shape.  (I was not in on this appointment but later I point out that I am incredibly out of shape.  My heart rate is not this crazy).

The second appointment with the seizure clinic came with another EEG before it.  They really want to see Aiden seize on command.  He fails to.  Dr. Motica's NP, Collette?, tells us he wants us to come in for a week long study.  It is scheduled for the last week in March (they want me there and I cannot afford to take more time off of work so this is during my spring break).

Last weekend, we went back to Portland.  Why?  Because SMMC screwed up the second MRI, too.  So Dr. Motica had us come to his facility at OHSU and get it done by his people in his hospital his way.  (I love him, too.  But I don't love driving to Portland).

So yesterday he calls to tell Aiden that there is something on the new MRI from this weekend.  He says it is possible that it is just an artifact or maybe Aiden moved during the scan.  It is in the same place as the "benign" shadowy place from SMMC's films.  They don't want to alarm us.  It could be nothing.  We need to go back and get it done again. 

They haven't said it yet.  I'm pretty sure it's going to be in Portland. 

What is really fun is that with all of this appointment-ing, we still live day-to-day with reality.  Reality has become that there are days when Aiden cannot sleep for anything.  He tries and tries but eventually will realize there's no hope and he gives up. 

There are also days where he will pass out standing up from being so tired.  He describes it as narcoleptic.  It seems to be true.  Mid-sentence, he will just zonk out.  In a restaurant, walking, it doesn't matter, he is just OUT.  This week, he spent 48 hours, almost straight, in bed, asleep.  But it's not sleep.  It's just like dead.  He cannot wake up for anything.

Half of the time I am convinced Aiden is having the world's slowest stroke.  He loses words, says the wrong words, stutters more than he ever did, and gets confused about everything. 

The other half of the time, I pretend like this isn't happening.  I block out the part where his brain might never work right again.  I ignore the neurologist having said "mental retardation".  I try really hard not to think about the future.  It's a scary idea. 

Also, I don't talk to anyone about this.  Every Monday, the ladies at work ask how Aiden is doing.  I tell them the latest news and they get these looks on their faces.  These looks make it hard to pretend it's not happening. I really want to not tell them anymore.  But I have to talk about it with someone.  I don't have time for therapy (which I'm sure I need, too).  I don't have any friends or time to make any friends in Walla Walla.  My friends that live so damn far away, when I talk to them, I don't want to just rag on about how awful life is.  So I tell the ladies at work.  And they are kind and say "oh that's awful" and then I go cry in the bathroom and then get back to work. 

The kids, they have been amazing through this.  They have had some behavior changes and made me want to run away... but they have also gotten used to it.  They know the reality is different and we have had over 3 months from the first seizure now.  (that original event on December 1st, they decided it was a seizure, too).  They have adjusted as well as they can. 

And poor Aiden.  He has gone through all of this.  Doesn't remember December at all.  Has stopped asking me to tell him the story because he thinks he is stressing me out.  Every time he does ask me to tell him, I do.  And then a couple of days later he always tells me how this has made him consider his own mortality and that he is at peace with his life.  He says he wouldn't change anything.  He says he loves his life and he is happy and loves me and the kids and Walla Walla (and Ms Rupe) and our friends all strewn across the state and the country.  He says he hopes that everyone knows that he loves them even when he forgets to tell them.  He talks about missing his Coastie family (Leanne, Rachel, Laura, I'm talking to you guys, especially).

.........
So, I've got a pretty good excuse for not updating very regularly but also a great reason that I should be updating regularly. 

And if anyone wants to move to Walla Walla so we have some friends, I will introduce you to Ms. Rupe.  You will love her!

Time for another photo update!!!

In absolutely no particular order comes these pictures to you. Enjoy viewing our recent weeks of summer!

This is Ashley and I having a kiss.
Annie and I hugging after an exceptionally long afternoon of just getting home from Brandon's for 2 weeks and breaking down a bazillion times. You can see the sleepiness all over her eyes!

The swings were not up on our new playground-of-death before they left so the first thing they did was get on and swing!

I went through this phase. There's multiple close-ups of my face or pieces in here. Whatever, I think it's fun.

Brandon's girlfriend's parents have this truck. Minus the tow part, it's Tow-Mater from Cars. So the kids HAD to climb in and get a picture in Mater.

He must be blinking but he's so serious looking up there. He's turned out to be quite a little gymnast on that bar!

Just getting up. Or down. Whatever. From the other side you can see his fully formed 6 pack!

Annie ready to get off now. She was trying to convince the big kid who got her up to get her down but I wanted a picture first.

She did like it before she didn't.

Ashley is trying to see what Annie's doing. I think it's such an Ashley picture.

Alex trying to figure out the crossword puzzle at Shari's. It's cute because he hasn't figured out the answers are on the sheet so he's always impressed when I know exactly the right word to try in the spaces. Sometimes it's really not what you'd think so I'm glad they have the answers there!

Ashley was counting for hide and seek but was so excited by her warped face in the doorknob she could barely remember to count. She still got to 10 before I got the picture framed. I still like how this turned out.

A Mom and Ashley hug.

This is totally an Ashley face. Mostly it's an "I caught you doing something" face. You can almost hear the "ooooohhhhh ho ho!" come out of her mouth!

There's her cheese ball smile!

Annie wanted a kiss picture. So she made her eyes all big (it's a long story). It looks like I'm pinching her or something but I'm not. I swear, it's all on her own.

Ashley suckered me into helping her hang. The look on her face is annoyance with me as I was just then told to take my hands off so she could do it by herself!

But I didn't go far!

Alex is just cute. And somehow I don't get enough pictures of him. So I post the ones I get.

He's just so damned handsome!

And we have Annie's goofball face. She's actually hamming it up about something else right here but I don't care. I'm letting you draw your own assumptions. Because I love this face when she makes it.

I also love the heck out of this face!

And we're back to Ashley swinging. It's what she would do all day every day if we let her. The best part is she knows how to pump but she gets tired and starts asking us to push her. So the little boys come over and push her gently. One in particular is really sweet about it. They were in pre-school together and are just sweet friends.

And my giant close-up smile. There's eyeball pictures too, somewhere on facebook. But I'll let you find those on your own.

Last but certainly not least is Aiden. While the kids were gone we spent a lot of time with Goretti's family. This is her kids' guitar. Aiden put the strap on and played. So I took a blackmail picture that is just really cute.

And a video of Alex on the bar.

Drawing on the Griddle

In preschool they do this thing where they will put paper on a hot plate and let the kids use crayons on it. There's lots of supervision so don't freak out.

I keep saying I want to try it but I am too bad of an artist to actually let the teacher I work with watch me do it.

Last night we had pancakes for dinner so I thought this would be a great time to draw on the griddle. If you decide to try it, I found that 250 or 275 was a good setting. If you go slowly at first the crayon warms up and it's slicker.

I highly recommend it.

What I made:

Here's Ashley and Alex. Ash can't not look at the camera. She started changing crayons every 2 seconds once I got out the camera.
Alex's
Ashley's

Aiden didn't even know I was taking the picture.

Annie is posing at not posing.

What she made:

I think it's fun so I'm posting his...

1) Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
2) Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
3) Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
4) Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
5) Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
6) Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
7) Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
8) Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
9) Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
10) Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
11) Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
12) Type in "[your name] loves" in Google Search.

Put the a response from the first page, preferably the first (assuming it's a complete thought, if not a complete sentence).

**I had to use some responses with the AIDAN spelling of my name since the AidEn spelling is less common.**

1. Aiden just needs to lie back and think about the meaning of the universe. (I'm a poet, I do that all of the time.)

2. Aiden looks like a mushroom! (When I wait to long to get my hairs cut I do!)

3. Aiden says, "Hello Mr. Pumpkin!" (Cool.)

4. Aiden wants an orange. (Gotta prevent the scurvy. Arrrgghh Matey!)

5. Aiden does the laundry and shows off some stellar moves. (They summed up my typical day pretty nicely, I think!)

6. Aiden hates tummy time. (That's not very true, in fact I prefer it.)

7. Aiden ask for seconds. (And if the food is good, thirds and fourths.)

8. Aiden likes balls. (OK, get your mind out of the gutter. I like soccer balls, basketballs, baseballs . . .)

9. Aiden eats an extremely sour lemon orange hybrid. (K, I don't tend to eat Frankenfruit.)

10. Aiden wears his mercenary outfit. (That sounds FUN!)

11. [Aiden] was arrested and imprisoned in England in 2003 for the London BBC bomb in March 2001 with two other people. (I was wearing my mercenary outfit at the time.)

12. Aiden loves his Cheerios and they love him. (Awwww, Cheerio love!)

I love mocking my man

Since Aiden has his other blog, and since it's all about being an OCD house husband, and since we live with three small-ish children who are trying to remember to try to do their best all the time, he is standing in the kitchen with the camera taking pictures for his post that will, I'm sure, be coming. About what? How the kids load their dishes in the dishwasher.

I can only defend them up front by saying that at least they were TRYING to do the right thing.

Actually, it will be really funny. His rants and tirades usually are.

And, as he points out while I mock him over this, I am in love with the cleaner house since he's not working.

Another blog

Aiden decided that rather than post all those at home parent blogs here, he's got a new blog. There's nothing posted there yet but when there is, you should go check it out. He'll be at http://talesofanocdhousehusband.blogspot.com/.

At least he's getting something written, as is his goal during his at home times.

SOMETHING will go on, anyway

I like Celine Dion music. It’s not my favorite but sometimes it’s just what I need. Aiden didn’t know this about me when we started dating. We were driving somewhere and I popped my Celine Dion CD into the stereo. The first couple songs were alright and then. AND THEN! “Every night in my dreams…”

“uuugggghhhh….”

Turns out Aiden cannot stand that song. Not for any fantastical reason, either. No, he hates it because she made a whole ton of money with a really bad rhyme. And not just any bad rhyme (Shania, anyone? Because don’t get me started on some of her lyrics. And I like her!) but a bad rhyme which he feels would be best sung by Grover.

As in Sesame Street.

Which lyrics are they, you ask?

“Near, Far, Wherever you are…”

That’s it. Those five little words. And really it’s only the first two. It takes all five to make the rhyme exceptionally bad but it is the first two that Grover ought to be crooning.

To fully understand how he feels about these two syllables you must picture him flapping his hands as though to paddle a boat. Now picture him saying “Neeeeaaaaarrrr” while paddling forward (aka towards the camera). Then hear it: “Faaaarrrr” as he paddles upstage and away from the camera. But you have to imagine reaaallly hard and hear it with a SUPER GROVER voice.

Since he’s ruined the song for me anyway, and since we have been renting The Muppet Show seasons on DVD for the kids (and mostly us), I have decided that it’s not just Grover. I think the whole song should have resurrected The Muppet Show. Maybe a little reunion of sorts. They could play on a Titanic set instead of the roof top. There would be misty fog rolling across the stage to hide the puppeteers. Celine’s voice would be dubbed over by Miss Piggy and we would watch her and Kermit dancing in their best Rose and Jack costumes.

Somehow Jim Henson would have found a way to incorporate some version of Grover’s near/far interjection, if he were still alive. Maybe Grover could be one of the guys who falls off the boat later. I don’t know, but I think the whole thing is intriguing and should be looked into.

At the end, I think Aiden would like to watch Celine go down with the ship.

Quick Update

Aiden's home. He's fine, or his heart is, anyway. The other issues will continue to be ignored, I'm sure, but that's not my concern right now. No, I am just glad my wonderfully awesome husband is living and breathing and home again. Maybe I will get more than 4 hours of sleep tonight.

Amy gets the biggest thanks for watching the girls and then also Alex basically all day while we sat at the hospital waiting for not not-docs to get back to us.

Matt, I was totally kidding. I think it was funny, too. Sorry to single you out.

Shaila, let him off the hook. lol. we still have the best upstairs neighbors ever!!

Again

I don't even want to say it.

Aiden went to the ER tonight.

When you're quite finished laughing (MATT!), we'll proceed....

Okay, it requires, as all my stories (aka tirades) do, some back story.

On my birthday we got to go to the ER because Aiden's face was swelling up and the doctor's office couldn't get him in and they sent us there. (not our fault). He had an infection in a saliva gland and was put on some antibiotics. Apparently these antibiotics can cause naturally occurring bacteria in your body to secrete toxins. You'll know this is happening if you get diarrhea. FUN!

Before that all happened there was the passing out for no good reason.

Before that happened his heart started racing at random moments. Like while he's asleep. This is not from stress!!! No one has ever really thought much of it and it's an ongoing part of this mess.

Two weeks ago his leg muscles and butt muscles started twitching. After 10 days of random and frequent leg twitching and cramping I made him go to the doctor. The official reason was the muscle issues but then all this other stuff came out and she did an EKG, a bunch of labs, and some poking and prodding. She listed off like 4 reasons he could be basically dying in the next 24 hours but then decided it was this one prescription that is causing the issue. She has written him off before and basically did that with this. Until we hear back from a specialist in Spokane she's unwilling to do anything else.

Except this drug has known side effects NONE OF WHICH ARE ANY OF HIS SYMPTOMS.

After waiting all day Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, having to leave work to do more lab blood draws ("right now!!" but the lab still had his blood left from the day before so we just wasted a drive across town.), the stool sample, and feeling progressively worse each day, he announced tonight that his heart (which randomly races) was sore. Not painful like a heart attack would be, just... sore.

Sure, let's just go to bed now and I'll wake up with a dead husband. AWESOME.

I sent him to the ER so I could feel better. They're just going to send him home with orders to wait for JoAnn (the not-doc) to decide to do something but then we can sleep well. I couldn't find anyone to come watch the kids so he drove himself. An hour later he texted to say they were going to keep him overnight.

Then they weren't.

I got Priscilla to come over (yay!!! for Priscilla bailing us out again!) and I took her car to the hospital. When I got there, there was an answer:

My husband has not had a heart attack in the last week but he is going to the ICU and will have a stress test in the morning.

When I was in the hospital for 2 weeks, Aiden spent every moment he could there with me. I'm not as good as him. I've admitted this before. I have my own strengths but they do not involve sleeping in a hospital room on the sad little couch they provide. I was going to wake up in 2 hours anyway when they did his vitals so I got his approval that I am not a bad person and I came home to sleep.

Priscilla is asleep in my bed and I am blogging and I have class in the morning, no babysitter as of yet for that time, and no car. He drove ours to the hospital and there it sits. I can ride the bus to class and probably get a ride to the van tomorrow but I am just stressed right now.

The up side is they are checking him out and the ER doc knew right off the problem is not his prescription JoAnn (the not-doc) was blaming. He's one we've seen a few times (I know, I know!) and was frustrated with the need to go to the ER for Aiden to get any decent care.

Me, too, if anyone's taking votes.

The other up side is his lead teacher was telling him it was just anxiety (I have a whole tirade on that but I'll skip it) today and basically poo-pooed the fact that his body is broken all the time so when something ELSE is wrong, he's aware of it. And he's had anxiety attacks so he knows how those go. So I got to leave a message that he's been checked in the ICU and will prrrooobbably not be at work today.

I shall keep you posted.

Don't you feel mean for laughing, now?

The sample

I don't know if I am allowed to blog about the poo kit. I do know that this is one of those circumstances that is hilarious. If you are not the one having to live it.



After Aiden got handed his poop hat full of all the amenities he'd need the fun began. Everyone stared him down in the waiting room. Mostly this was because we were laughing so hard on our way out. The sample has to be delivered to the destination (I feel like I'm in the Secret Service speaking in all this code to avoid being too icky) within 30 minutes of... um... the event. Clearly it couldn't be done while he was at work.



Could you imagine? "Ms. K___, I have to go to the bathroom. First I have to go get my special hat out of my car. Then I'll need to leave so I can run this up to the lab while it's still... fresh."



No, definitely not during business hours.



It finally happened. All the poo kit stars aligned: the urge and opportunity during the right hours for getting things to a lab all came together.



This is where the funniness becomes subjective. I think it's hilarious and have NO PROBLEM cracking jokes about the situation (If you want to hear them, you'll have to call me. I'm pretty sure they would not be well recieved by ALL who visit this page)(it's worth the call). Meanwhile, Aiden has the willies and is NOT laughing anymore.



The kit and the man disappeared down the hall accompanied by a garbage bag. He had an exit strategy for not carrying the special hat to the dumpster in plain view.



The man and the bag re-appeared. There was tears running and vomit dripping from his chin. I don't tell you this to embarrass him, just to point out the awfulness of what I did next.



He went back down the hall to "clean the vomit out of the sink".



I laughed. Not loud, just giggles. Lots of them.



I had to bring him a Sharpie to write on his Play-Doh can of poo and then I had to find a bag. Before his nerves had set in he wished we had a Starbucks bag to take it to the lab in. But we don't.



We did, however, have a lovely yellow gift bag with a little sign on the top that says "celebrate".

Syncope

It's the fancy medical term for fainting. It sounds so much more serious, though, when called syncope (sink-o-pee).

Last weekend Aiden had a fantastically awful cold. Well, he had it all week but last weekend it made him sleep pretty much the entire day. Both days. I was slightly irritated. Of course, this week I have got the cold. I studied for a few hours and then decided to go to sleep.

Why is it that I can fall asleep during the best show that I WANT to stay up for but the minute I get sick and decide I should succumb to the awful debilitating exhaustion I cannot sleep?

So I finally fell asleep around midnight.

I was woken up by a very loud crashing and the bathroom lights on at 1:30. I jumped out of bed and was a little disoriented. I looked over and saw the Aiden laying on the floor half in the bathroom and half in the bedroom. He had a glazed over look in his eyes and he was quivering a little bit. I asked him what happened and he didn't answer or look at me. He was looking off the corner of his glazed eyes just staring at.... something. I had to touch his stomach to get him to answer me and then all I got was a very weak "I think we need to call 911. I feel like I'm going to pass out".

I'm pretty sure he already had and was on the return trip to conciousness when he said that.

I am now feeling very panicky and of course cannot find my freakin' phone. I finally did and started explaining the situation. They dispatched all the appropriate folks and then said to call back if anything changed. I knew this would end up in the ER and NO WAY was I going to send him alone. So I started trying to figure out who to call.

First thought, MOM. Riiight, the ambulance will totally take longer than Mom to get here. Great idea, Genius.

Next, Matt and Shaila. They don't have anything else to do and NO ONE could get here faster since they live on top of us. Literally, not practically. So I called them. And they slept through it.

Now I'm getting more antsy, trying to move the Halloween decoration tub and everything else that might be in the way of the EMTs out of the hall. I realized it's Saturday night at 1:30. Priscilla is up. Of course she is. As long as she's not passed out drunk, she'll do.

I called her and asked if she could come over. She said yes and asked if everything was okay. I said no and then I hung up. Not for the drama but for the police woman who was responding to the call. She came in and tried to talk to Aiden. First she asked me what happened, out of earshot of Aiden (who knew "out of earshot" existed in this tiny apartment!) and then she asked him. He was very incoherent. She asked what day it was and he said "technically now it's the fifth". This was funny because we had discussed it earlier that night. He thought it was a day earlier. Then she asked him who the president is. He said "um, I want to say Bill Clinton but I know that's not right". After a few seconds of a strange look at me from the cop (but they felt like ETERNITY) he said "George Bush".

The cop hung out until the rest of the responders showed up. I went out to make sure they could find the right apartment (I'm choosing NOT to share how I went out into the parking lot and waved them down. DUH! I'm standing right next to a police car). "Them" being two ambulances, a firetruck, and a fire captain/cheif/whatever's truck. Anyway, they ended up talking to him, getting his vitals and asked if we wanted him to go to the ER.

Now, let me tell you something about Aiden and I: we tend to read each other really well. I guess it doesn't work that well when there's three large men in between us and about 4 more behind him. I knew he didn't want to go. Well, I thought I knew. He's a typical man, never wants to go to the doctor until it's unavoidable.

I also wanted to get his opinion on it but I did NOT want to be the woman the EMTs got to talk about the rest of the night who let the guy that just passed out make the call about whether to go to the hospital. It's not that I was jonesin' for a trip to the ER in a college town full of drinkers on a Saturday night. But I had to make him go.

Later, he told me that he knew I would make him go so even though he really wanted to stay home he just agreed at the front of it all. In fact, what he said was "I knew I'd eventually lose so I might as well just give up now".

I followed the ambulance and had to go through the front doors of the ER (SO not what happens on any tv show!) and check in at the desk. The man behind the counter had just finished checking in an extremely inebriated girl who I could (and may) post an entire blog about. Anyway (and it's killing me to bypass all of that story right now), I sat in the waiting room for about 15 minutes or so until I was allowed back to his room.

While I was waiting one of our neighbors showed up. Have I mentioned I love living in this complex? I do. She had seen the action in the parking lot while waiting for her husband to get home from his shift at the vet hosipital. When she saw the van pull out to follow the ambulance she thought I had the kids with me. SO SHE FOLLOWED ME TO THE ER TO OFFER TO TAKE THE KIDS. I had held it together really well until that point but I almost cried when I was talking to her.

The nurse finally let me back to Aiden's room and we commenced the "Holy crap we are tired and this is silly because we are pretty sure we know why this happened and we could have taken care of THAT but in case we are wrong we're sitting here WAITING all night while Priscilla and her friend stay at the house with the kids" ER game. The good news was we had the nice nurses, one male and one female, who I had when I went in with pancreatitis. So we knew we were in good hands. We also had the ER doc who diagnosed my gall stones super quick and was VERY giving with the pain meds (thus endearing him to me for life). We knew we were in good hands. There are some very unfriendly staff members in the ER, too, so you never know what you're going to get. I guess Saturday is the night to have a problem, if you're going to.

Like the show ER we were put into one of the trauma rooms that has doors leading to the hall and to the rooms on either side. One side held a guy who was sleeping off a bad round of drinking games (oh, I really want to post about the drunk girl at check in!) and SnOrInG. The other side (we were lucky enough to be in the middle room) had a 50ish year old woman whose 911 call came in while we were in the hall at home with the EMTs. She was having severe abdominal pain, she didn't know why and it was "unclear whether it was chest pain" according to the dispatcher on the radio.

Yeah, this woman had not pooped in over 5 days, apparently. (I am reminded of a similar story of my Grandma's second husband and my mom but that's neither here nor there). The sliding glass doors between the rooms don't touch the floor so we could hear MOST of what was being said. Every time she was asked a question about whatever she had just said she would answer it by adding another issue to her LONG list of problems. Some of them were not even relavent. She had to make sure they (and we) knew she'd been in for a sleep study several years ago and that she has no appendix (I do know that was relavent). Aiden and I, okay mostly I, considered sneaking though the sliding glass door to smother her with a pillow since she was clearly dying anyway. That way she'd be out of her misery. All because she hadn't pooped in 5 days.

I swear, I know I was tired but I SWEAR she told one of the nurses that there's "a cat in there with rocks".

In case you missed it, "A CAT IN THERE WITH ROCKS".

And she is in for constipation.

I don't want to know how that happened but I repeated it to Aiden to see if he had heard the same thing. He hadn't. What he heard was "someone put a pad up there and it's blocked". He kept looking at me like I should understand what that means or how it is in anyway better than the cat with rocks. But I couldn't. So I asked. He didn't know either.

Everything with Aiden is fine, he's got a brain (proven with a CAT scan last night) and it's not swelling or anything. The whole problem came from a blood pressure medication he takes for night terrors coupled with low blood sugar from basically skipping dinner last night. He got light headed and passed out. So. Much. Fun.

Aiden says

He's going to start blogging. Of course, he's been telling me this all summer (and then some) and it has yet to occur. That's mostly because he keeps the house clean and was busy taking care of everything so I could focus on class/healing after the whole pancreatitis issue this spring/summer and then just trying to keep up with life as the summer progressed and the heat increased.

So, tonight he swore he's going to start blogging. Again. So I have to show him to to log in and actually post. Again.

He's a "learn by doing" kind of guy so the fact that I have shown him a couple of times means NOTHING with the lack of use. ( he says I have to play fair and admit he has a VW in his brain... waah!)

Anyway, he's saying he should post about his job (which are funny stories, I guarantee you! He works in a preschool with a bunch of 3 and 4 year olds and some adults who are on the same level. As CO-WORKERS!). He told me it's going to be about child... rearing.

"Because that's what it should always be called. 'Here, I've reared your child'."

It goes along with Baby SITTING, right?

and now our chicken heads are cut off again. But we'll have some cash flow

Aiden got a job at Head Start. He is loving it which is good because it is ruining our schedule!! Mostly it's ruining my schedule but it's affecting even our (fantastically stepping up to help) neighbors' schedules.

When he went in for the interview they neglected to tell him it would be a split shift. And he hid the fact that he is NOT a morning person from them. When they offered him the job, they actually offered it to him through me and explained that he'd need to start the next morning. Ha ha!! So he gets up at some awful hour (to him) and goes to the school to be the bus aide from 7 to 8 am. This means he rides all around this town with a whole bunch of 3 and 4 year olds and a bus driver who is more than a little crazy and has to help buckle the kids in and convince them to stop crying and/or yelling.

Why are they crying? Because as much as you'd like to think they are scared of the freaky dude with the eyebrow ring and tattoos, it's because their moms aren't getting on the bus, too. Kids have a funny way of prioritizing their qualms.

As for the yelling, I cannot imagine how much his facial tics must be coming out to play in the hour he's on there. How do you convince a bunch of preschoolers to stop yelling on the bus? Because you can't do it by yelling, that's for sure.

Anyway, after that lovely shift he comes home in time to take care of the girls while I go to two hours of class. Then Amy (oh, God Bless Amy!) babysits for half an hour or so until I get home. Between the two of us we get the three kindergartners onto the noon bus and her preschooler off and mine on, the Head Start bus (also at noon because the coordination efforts in this town are so fantastic!). Then I get to take a break from school and kids until 1:20 or so when I head back to school for class for another hour before running (this fat girl doesn't actually run, it's an exaggeration) for the bus to get home so I can get the kids off the bus. Then we play outside until Ashley shows up on her bus at 4 (with Aiden, a mid-shift kiss for us!) and somewhere we start dinner.

Meanwhile, Aiden gets to school, doesn't ride the noon bus, and helps with lunchtime in his class. Then they play for a few minutes outside, then it's nap time. Question: How do you convince a preschool class to be quiet and lay down and, maybe, actually sleep? Answer: You make the room dark as night and warm.

New Question: How do make make an Aiden fall asleep? It's the same answer. Plus, he's been up since that ungodly hour of the morning. So thankfully there's a little girl who is a complete brat in his corner which forces him to stay awake to keep her from keeping everyone else awake. Or there was. The lead teacher took pity on Aiden having to deal with all the brats and moved this one girl to another corner. But now who will keep Aiden awake? It's only nap time for the kids!!!

After nap, they play outside again, have snack, and he rides the afternoon bus to bring home Ashley's class. Again with the overly nuts driver. Then he gets to go back to school until the rest of the parents come get their kids. THEN he gets to mop and finally he can come home.

Our dinner hour has changed to 6 instead of 5/5:30 to incorporate said changes.

Unfortunately, Aiden works in a class that has class on Fridays. Ashley doesn't. So we have some fantastic neighbors who are willing to step in and take turns watching her so I don't have to take her to physics with me (I already don't understand half the lecture, there would go the other half!) or miss class altogether. There's two other times this gets really sticky in the week but they are, again, willing to step up and help out. AND THEY'RE NOT GETTING PAID!!!

I have NEVER lived in such a community. Our last place was low income housing as well. There is no way I would have ever let my neighbors babysit let alone expected them to do it for free.

yay for people who are poor because they are students and NOT because they are making a lifestyle choice!!!!