I don't know if I am allowed to blog about the poo kit. I do know that this is one of those circumstances that is hilarious. If you are not the one having to live it.
After Aiden got handed his poop hat full of all the amenities he'd need the fun began. Everyone stared him down in the waiting room. Mostly this was because we were laughing so hard on our way out. The sample has to be delivered to the destination (I feel like I'm in the Secret Service speaking in all this code to avoid being too icky) within 30 minutes of... um... the event. Clearly it couldn't be done while he was at work.
Could you imagine? "Ms. K___, I have to go to the bathroom. First I have to go get my special hat out of my car. Then I'll need to leave so I can run this up to the lab while it's still... fresh."
No, definitely not during business hours.
It finally happened. All the poo kit stars aligned: the urge and opportunity during the right hours for getting things to a lab all came together.
This is where the funniness becomes subjective. I think it's hilarious and have NO PROBLEM cracking jokes about the situation (If you want to hear them, you'll have to call me. I'm pretty sure they would not be well recieved by ALL who visit this page)(it's worth the call). Meanwhile, Aiden has the willies and is NOT laughing anymore.
The kit and the man disappeared down the hall accompanied by a garbage bag. He had an exit strategy for not carrying the special hat to the dumpster in plain view.
The man and the bag re-appeared. There was tears running and vomit dripping from his chin. I don't tell you this to embarrass him, just to point out the awfulness of what I did next.
He went back down the hall to "clean the vomit out of the sink".
I laughed. Not loud, just giggles. Lots of them.
I had to bring him a Sharpie to write on his Play-Doh can of poo and then I had to find a bag. Before his nerves had set in he wished we had a Starbucks bag to take it to the lab in. But we don't.
We did, however, have a lovely yellow gift bag with a little sign on the top that says "celebrate".