why I'm laughing (another reason)

Ashley dropped her chicken nuggets on the floor of the van. They were still in the box and she was on the verge of a melt-down over the whole thing. At least they didn't touch the floor which is covered in about 90 different pairs of boots' prints and all the bacteria/dirt/snow GUNK they bring in and out every. damn. day.

Anyway, Aiden unbuckles and says "I'll get them, give me two shakes" as he climbs into the back to retrieve the nuggets. Annie takes this opportunity to embrace her inner smart ass and in perfect flat tone says "Shake. Shake."

I almost had to pull over we all started laughing so hard.

Later today Ashley and I were at the house. I was reading something and told her we'd go to the bus stop to pick up some of the 8 kids we ferry each day in 20 minutes. She had options and suggestions of what to do while she waited. She chose to stomp around the house pouting that she can't play with the cat toy today since she wrapped it around one of their necks.

Pouting got old quick (especially when Mom doesn't respond!) so she came marching up and yelled "I CALL 20 MINUTES!"

I almost couldn't answer her that it had, in fact, only been 10 minutes but I managed to get that information to her through my laughter. She indignantly said "well, it FEELS like 20 minutes. Let's GO"

I decided that if she would be buckled in her car seat and unable to stomp anymore and she wanted to wait at the bus stop longer, FINE. I walked out and told her to get her boots on so we could go.

She refused. She didn't want to go. She thinks all those kindergartners should just walk their own selves home. There was a fight cooking up which I didn't particularly want to have. I asked if I could carry her to the car thus avoiding the boots altogether. This pleased her highness and life was quiet and calm again.

Also, this morning Diva Annie dug out some of her money to go to Rite Aid and buy some BRATZ (ugh!) fake nails. We (AIDEN) managed to talk her out of those and into a cheaper set with just as many ugly nails AND cool nail stickers. That is, stickers for your nails not stickers of nails.

She informed me she would like to request to not put it in a bag because "I don't want no bag".

"Any bag" I said and had her repeat it back to me right before I realized that was wrong, too. Gosh, and I want to teach these people.

Alex got on the phone with a friend of his tonight. He needed to get the friend's phone number and couldn't find any paper. I pointed him to the white board and said to write it there. Suddenly Alex was saying "hol, hol, hold on, run that by me once more..... I said you're going to have to run that by me one more time."

When did my kid become a 40 year old contractor?