Monday, October 20, 2008
I also don't want to be in school right now. I don't want to take these stupid classes. WHY do I have to take a year of physics to be a dentist? What could that possibly help me with when I have a patient in the chair and I have to do things to their mouth? Knowing the difference between force and thrust and power and impulse (and all those other dirty words I better learn by Wednesday, 2 pm, for the test sparking this on) will not help me know where the nerve line runs.
I know, they want me to prove I can do it. Well, I can. Can't I just prove it another way? I WANT to be a dentist. I don't WANT to take physics (or a whole bunch of other classes they are going to force me to take). Because I actually am setting out to get into dental school, because I am smart, and because I will pay you a lot of money to let me come to your school, THESE are the reasons you should know I will stick with it and finish and do the very best you've ever seen. Not because you could force me to jump through these dumb hoops.
I don't want to spend my afternoons sitting in lecture listening to some woman I cannot understand going on and on about things I do not understand. I don't do well with accents. So fine, Maybe I have to take this class. Then could WSU (aka the root of all evil) hire professors/TAs/other people in charge of my life dream who speak the English? Without saying all the wrong words in the wrong order? I don't understand this stuff in English. Why are you forcing me to take the class without an interpreter? I did not get my decoder ring at registration! I feel like they should pass out those hearing aid things like at a UN conference. Are there really no other people you could hire to explain this stuff?
I'm not against foreigners or anything. I swear, I'm not. I'm just against paying a LOT of money in tuition and getting HOSED when it comes to class.
And really, don't get me started on the TAs. The only one I have ever had who was nice was for my genetics class last fall. She was totally understandable and nice. All the Chem TAs I have had here are Asian. Do they not teach chemistry in Asia? I mean, seriously! How is there NO ONE else to TA the dang labs? Grrrr!!!
My stats TA? Asian. The physics instructor AND TA? Indian. (dots not feathers) (that sounds really bad but I love that line... Good Will Hunting).
I am Irritated with a capital I. (did you see it?) I not kidding you, it's rampant here. The freakin' Spanish teacher is from Germany. (luckily not my class but the chem lab supervisor, she's from Germany, too!)
Anyway, I guess by the time I am done here I can get into dental school. That should make it worth it, right? If I end up not being able to get in I will be totally primed for a degree in linguistics.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Anyway, we'll be getting paid eventually and get internet back and then maybe I'll remember the freakin' blog that was SO funny.
For now, a few tidbits to tide you over (try not to cry in missing me too much!)
Annie lost her first tooth. Tooth Fairy managed to scrounge up two bucks for it. YAY!!
Ashley has found the words "heck", "holy", and "freakin'".
This came about when she asked me "where the heck is my goodie bag". Then she also told me Alex (who was being INSANE one morning) was being a Jack....... ass. Bit of a talk there.
Then we had to go to the ER because she tried to skin her toe in the bathroom (long story). She and I sang a made up song based on the "visit the moon" song from Sesame Street (which we sing all the time). She told me Well I'd like to visit the DOCTOR when a Grown up Drives me there... Yes, I like to visit the doctor...
It went on to include how "holy crap" we are at the "freakin'" doctors'.
No stitches, we're fine.
More later but I'm at the library and Ashley and David (our friend we brought with us) are trying to beat the fish tank off the counter AND kill themselves in the process. Must leave before I'm not allowed back.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Because the girls' birthdays are so close together and because I share a birthday with my sister and therefore never had my own party growing up, I began what I hope will be a tradition last year where we do Ashley's party Halloween themed. It's in October, it makes me (and anyone who comes) get the costumes early (and before the selection is so picked over), and it's fun! I think we actually do more for the costumes for the party than for Halloween itself (more make up, more detail, etc.)
Since I was caught unprepared for Annie's party (so NOT a Scout!) I was determined to have Ashley's party planned. The problem? We invited WAY more people to Ashley's party than Annie's. Why? Because two years in a row way less people than invited (and has NO ONE heard of RSVP?) showed up to Annie's. So two years in a row we invited MORE people to Ashley's. The thing I forgot to learn from last year is that THIS weekend is not as busy for people, or something. EVERYONE showed up. Which is great but I don't know what to do with 12 little kids in Halloween costumes their parents are needing/hoping to use again.
I had planned to do musical chairs again, then I realized we couldn't because A, we don't own 12 chairs, and B, where would we put them? We modified it a bit and played musical Squares. Picture construction paper on the floor because that's what it was. This should have and WOULD have been just fine but there were some younger kids at this party and some of them don't get the concept of musical anything. Poor Aiden ended up in the middle of the circle reminding them all, constantly, to walk on the outside of the circle and not actually ON the squares. Have I mentioned how happy I am he's working in a preschool?
One little girl showed up halfway through the game and jumped right in. She is a little over adult-ized, if that makes sense, and she doesn't really do the whole "follow the rules of the game" thing very well. She decided she would just stand on the square until the music stopped. Um, no. She kept being reminded to keep moving and then she just really didn't get it and finally quit when it was her and this other boy. He'd been in the game all along so I was glad he won.
Then what? Can't play Duck Duck Goose, half the kids can't sit in their costumes. Go on a scavenger hunt to see how many pumpkins are out in our complex? It's COLD out there and all 12 precious darlings took their shoes off upon entering my house. That's SO not happening.
So we played tape the nose on the scarecrow. With cotton balls. It was WAY ghetto. But it kept them entertained while it was their turn. Who won? That's still a little unclear as the only kids who got it anywhere close to the face of the Scarecrow were the three five year olds who CHEAT. Aiden and I were laughing as we realized how easy it is to tell who's honest and who's not when you play that game. all of them came up to the scarecrow with their faces pointed to the sky trying (and apparently succeeding at) to peek from under their blindfold. CHEATERS!!!
Aiden laughed and said it was probably because the little kids are too dumb to know to cheat and the older kids know better. I'm betting he's right. I wish I had a picture of all the cheaters to post right here. But I don't.
Then we were really out of ideas so we got out crayons and let the kids color. At one point Malcolm and Quinn were in the kitchen and apparently Mack had had enough of this party (me too!) He leaned over and said "c'mon Quinn, let's go home". It was sad he was so bored (and the cake was chocolate which he doesn't like. oops!) so we got their goody bags and Aiden walked them upstairs. Once the goody bags came out the party was pretty much over. All the kids stood at the door trying to put on their shoes and get out so they could score their own bag. Fine with me!
Thankfully we are done with birthday parties for another 10 months or so. phew! Season over.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
You have a lot of holes in all your arguments.
Like when you claimed that Alex missed school a lot last year to go up to Spokane for Aiden's doctor appointments. Um, he missed one day and it was only half a day. AND IT WAS A YEAR AGO!! You're going to have to let go of that eventually. Try it now, Deep breath, unclench.
Unclench what? You know, anything that is clenched needs to relax. Figure it out. Maybe your crystal ball can help you.
I also think it's hilarious that you are mad about the kids (it was only Alex) missing a day of school (it was 2.5 hours) to go to Spokane to see the dentist. And then you thought it was awful of me to say that going to the dentist, who is only open during certain hours, was more important and easier to justify pulling the kids from school for than going to see thier dad a couple of hours early.
The dentist actually helps them. It is actually beneficial to them to see the dentist. Same thing when I took Alex to the doctor to get his check up. Actually GOOD for him.
Going to see you is not beneficial or in any way POSITIVE for the kids. They come home hyped up on sugar and caffeine (don't get me started) and you have bypassed bedtime or any other RULES (liiiike bedtime?) so that you can be the favorite parent.
Thanks for calling me back, for the third time, by the way, and telling me I "win". That you'll see them in Spokane this month. That's really big of you.
Thanks for apologizing, after I brought it up, for throwing the money you said you'd give me to help cover gas on the ground at McDonalds just to prove you could make me pick it up. I'm sure you were thinking about it the other day. Stupid things I have done in the past keep passing through my head, too. Hopefully you feel absolved of any wrong doing now and can sleep at night again.
I'm sure there's more but I have to go now so I can get to class and continue to get smarter and smarter so I can be a dentist and get money and then throw away Aiden like I threw you away since you stopped being my "bitch". I'm positive that was the entire reason we got divorced. Or even a small part.
I would like to like you. I would like to get along with you. I would like you to take the Lexapro you know you need. It makes you easier to deal with.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
We were just going through the drive through so we could get home and I could study. Then the kids said they had to go potty. It was POURING down rain (I think it was going down and then back up!) so we RAN in to use the bathroom. Alex went in the boys, got done, and went back out to the car where Aiden was waiting for us.
The girls and I ended up standing in the bathroom waiting for two 16 or so year old girls to finsih CHANGING THEIR CLOTHES.
I have done that. I worked at Dairy Queen for a year and changed many times before my shift. These girls were just changing from one outfit to another. And they didn't say "oh, just a second" when the girls started complaining about having to do the "pee pee dance" because these people are taking so looooong.
Finally one came out and a minute later the friend decided to end the stall hostage situation so both the girls got to go. These girls then stood in the main part of the bathroom and continued to change. Let me paint you a picture: It's an Arby's bathroom with 2 stalls. There's about 5 square feet of room that is not taken up by stalls, the sink, or the paper towel thing. And the paper towel thing is one of those "wave your hand in front" ones.
In this space there is me (a big fat mama), these two girls (average sized teenagers), and their purses which would be better described as small suitcases. These two geniuses did their hair and makeup. They kept having to bend over to get stuff from their Sherpa packs on the floor. EVERYTIME the one girl bent over, the paper towel dispenser released a length of towel. She couldn't figure out why this was happening. I'm serious.
Then the same girl put on a sweater and her up-until-this-moment smarter looking friend asks "is that new?"
"is what new?"
"that sweater. is it new? I've never met it before."
I grabbed my babies and ran.
Last weekend Aiden had a fantastically awful cold. Well, he had it all week but last weekend it made him sleep pretty much the entire day. Both days. I was slightly irritated. Of course, this week I have got the cold. I studied for a few hours and then decided to go to sleep.
Why is it that I can fall asleep during the best show that I WANT to stay up for but the minute I get sick and decide I should succumb to the awful debilitating exhaustion I cannot sleep?
So I finally fell asleep around midnight.
I was woken up by a very loud crashing and the bathroom lights on at 1:30. I jumped out of bed and was a little disoriented. I looked over and saw the Aiden laying on the floor half in the bathroom and half in the bedroom. He had a glazed over look in his eyes and he was quivering a little bit. I asked him what happened and he didn't answer or look at me. He was looking off the corner of his glazed eyes just staring at.... something. I had to touch his stomach to get him to answer me and then all I got was a very weak "I think we need to call 911. I feel like I'm going to pass out".
I'm pretty sure he already had and was on the return trip to conciousness when he said that.
I am now feeling very panicky and of course cannot find my freakin' phone. I finally did and started explaining the situation. They dispatched all the appropriate folks and then said to call back if anything changed. I knew this would end up in the ER and NO WAY was I going to send him alone. So I started trying to figure out who to call.
First thought, MOM. Riiight, the ambulance will totally take longer than Mom to get here. Great idea, Genius.
Next, Matt and Shaila. They don't have anything else to do and NO ONE could get here faster since they live on top of us. Literally, not practically. So I called them. And they slept through it.
Now I'm getting more antsy, trying to move the Halloween decoration tub and everything else that might be in the way of the EMTs out of the hall. I realized it's Saturday night at 1:30. Priscilla is up. Of course she is. As long as she's not passed out drunk, she'll do.
I called her and asked if she could come over. She said yes and asked if everything was okay. I said no and then I hung up. Not for the drama but for the police woman who was responding to the call. She came in and tried to talk to Aiden. First she asked me what happened, out of earshot of Aiden (who knew "out of earshot" existed in this tiny apartment!) and then she asked him. He was very incoherent. She asked what day it was and he said "technically now it's the fifth". This was funny because we had discussed it earlier that night. He thought it was a day earlier. Then she asked him who the president is. He said "um, I want to say Bill Clinton but I know that's not right". After a few seconds of a strange look at me from the cop (but they felt like ETERNITY) he said "George Bush".
The cop hung out until the rest of the responders showed up. I went out to make sure they could find the right apartment (I'm choosing NOT to share how I went out into the parking lot and waved them down. DUH! I'm standing right next to a police car). "Them" being two ambulances, a firetruck, and a fire captain/cheif/whatever's truck. Anyway, they ended up talking to him, getting his vitals and asked if we wanted him to go to the ER.
Now, let me tell you something about Aiden and I: we tend to read each other really well. I guess it doesn't work that well when there's three large men in between us and about 4 more behind him. I knew he didn't want to go. Well, I thought I knew. He's a typical man, never wants to go to the doctor until it's unavoidable.
I also wanted to get his opinion on it but I did NOT want to be the woman the EMTs got to talk about the rest of the night who let the guy that just passed out make the call about whether to go to the hospital. It's not that I was jonesin' for a trip to the ER in a college town full of drinkers on a Saturday night. But I had to make him go.
Later, he told me that he knew I would make him go so even though he really wanted to stay home he just agreed at the front of it all. In fact, what he said was "I knew I'd eventually lose so I might as well just give up now".
I followed the ambulance and had to go through the front doors of the ER (SO not what happens on any tv show!) and check in at the desk. The man behind the counter had just finished checking in an extremely inebriated girl who I could (and may) post an entire blog about. Anyway (and it's killing me to bypass all of that story right now), I sat in the waiting room for about 15 minutes or so until I was allowed back to his room.
While I was waiting one of our neighbors showed up. Have I mentioned I love living in this complex? I do. She had seen the action in the parking lot while waiting for her husband to get home from his shift at the vet hosipital. When she saw the van pull out to follow the ambulance she thought I had the kids with me. SO SHE FOLLOWED ME TO THE ER TO OFFER TO TAKE THE KIDS. I had held it together really well until that point but I almost cried when I was talking to her.
The nurse finally let me back to Aiden's room and we commenced the "Holy crap we are tired and this is silly because we are pretty sure we know why this happened and we could have taken care of THAT but in case we are wrong we're sitting here WAITING all night while Priscilla and her friend stay at the house with the kids" ER game. The good news was we had the nice nurses, one male and one female, who I had when I went in with pancreatitis. So we knew we were in good hands. We also had the ER doc who diagnosed my gall stones super quick and was VERY giving with the pain meds (thus endearing him to me for life). We knew we were in good hands. There are some very unfriendly staff members in the ER, too, so you never know what you're going to get. I guess Saturday is the night to have a problem, if you're going to.
Like the show ER we were put into one of the trauma rooms that has doors leading to the hall and to the rooms on either side. One side held a guy who was sleeping off a bad round of drinking games (oh, I really want to post about the drunk girl at check in!) and SnOrInG. The other side (we were lucky enough to be in the middle room) had a 50ish year old woman whose 911 call came in while we were in the hall at home with the EMTs. She was having severe abdominal pain, she didn't know why and it was "unclear whether it was chest pain" according to the dispatcher on the radio.
Yeah, this woman had not pooped in over 5 days, apparently. (I am reminded of a similar story of my Grandma's second husband and my mom but that's neither here nor there). The sliding glass doors between the rooms don't touch the floor so we could hear MOST of what was being said. Every time she was asked a question about whatever she had just said she would answer it by adding another issue to her LONG list of problems. Some of them were not even relavent. She had to make sure they (and we) knew she'd been in for a sleep study several years ago and that she has no appendix (I do know that was relavent). Aiden and I, okay mostly I, considered sneaking though the sliding glass door to smother her with a pillow since she was clearly dying anyway. That way she'd be out of her misery. All because she hadn't pooped in 5 days.
I swear, I know I was tired but I SWEAR she told one of the nurses that there's "a cat in there with rocks".
In case you missed it, "A CAT IN THERE WITH ROCKS".
And she is in for constipation.
I don't want to know how that happened but I repeated it to Aiden to see if he had heard the same thing. He hadn't. What he heard was "someone put a pad up there and it's blocked". He kept looking at me like I should understand what that means or how it is in anyway better than the cat with rocks. But I couldn't. So I asked. He didn't know either.
Everything with Aiden is fine, he's got a brain (proven with a CAT scan last night) and it's not swelling or anything. The whole problem came from a blood pressure medication he takes for night terrors coupled with low blood sugar from basically skipping dinner last night. He got light headed and passed out. So. Much. Fun.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Annie is learning to hold her own in the sarcasm riddled house. A couple of months ago we were in Ellensburg doing the Dad's weekend drop off and there was, as usual, a lot of people in the parking lot. What is it about McDonald's in Ellensburg that attracts that specific type of people in such great numbers? Yes, there are 'normal' looking folks (after all, we were there to add to the normalcy. ha!) but there's always such a high percentage of those people. In Moscow we refer to them as *da da dun dun dun da dun duh dunnnn* (think dueling banjos) and everyone knows what we are talking about. In Ellensburg it's just MORE.
Anyway, there was this woman in knit shorts that were riding so far up I think they were actually lodged in her intestines, and she was NOT SMALL. I know I'm not small. I wear appropriate clothing, I think, for my size.
Aiden and I are so not the epitome of what things should be but we have a great time making snarky comments about strangers. Sometimes it's kind but mostly we're snotty. One of our favorites is "the sad part is they looked in the mirror this morning and thought: I look GOOOD!"
So this woman was walking to the door and we were looking for a place to park. As we drove by I said "oh, that's hot" ala Paris Hilton. Annie asked what that means. Um, it means Mom better watch herself better. I told her it means something is hot; like a stove. She said that must be why that woman pulled her shorts up so high; she was hot.
I about peed my pants.
So today Annie brought me an Amelia Bedelia book to read. I made her read it instead. I know I have read them to her before but she never really paid any attention, I guess. Since she was reading it she had to actually pay attention to the plot. It was the one where Amelia Bedelia is on her first day of work as a maid for Mrs. Rogers who has to be absent and tells Amelia Bedelia to just do exactly what the list says. So she starts with "changing the towels". She can't understand why or how exactly she is to do it so she takes scissors and she changes them. Then she has to draw the curtains. Annie didn't know what that meant so I told her. She said "she's going to DRAW them, Mom." Sure enough, she gets out a pad of paper and draws those curtains.
We turn the page and see that Amelia Bedelia is to "dust the furniture". And she's in the picture looking at a box of Dusting Powder from the bathroom. Annie sees what is coming, turns the page to see the maid on the couch DUSTING the furniture ("in MY house we UNdust the furniture" Amelia Bedelia says) and before she even reads a word on the page she looks at me and says
"That woman should have hired someone with a BRAIN!"
a couple pages later the chicken gets dressed and the meat fat gets trimmed (think brick a brack). Annie looks at it and proclaims "she's an idiot".
Before you judge me know this: I love that my kids get sarcasm and wit. Life is so much more fun this way.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
So, it will take me awhile to figure this specific blog forum out. And Holly is right, I do have a lot to share from work. You'd think 16 3-4 year-olds would be stressful, but really they're just plain funny.
For now, I shall leave you with this nugget (which all parents - especially Mommies - will love):
My coworker has his degree in Early Childhood Development. However, he does not have his degree in real-life childhood development. It matters not how many books you have read about children, because until you've had one (or many) there are certain things you just don't know. For instance, last week my coworker decided to let the classroom vote on which playground we should go to for afternoon outside time. I should say he attempted to have the class vote. 4 kids raised their hands to go to the sandbox side, 3 kids (2 of whom had previously voted) raised their hands to go to the monkey bar side, and the other 11 kids raised their hands to insert their fingers into their noses.
When I informed my coworker that this course of action may not be to our or the children's advantage he looked at me as though I were politically incorrect on so many different levels. He tried to "poll" the children the following day, but before the wailing and gnashing of teeth could ensue, I cut him off. We have never voted since.
I have posed this story to our many mommies in the apartment complex in this manner, "How do you know a preschool teacher has no children of his own? He tells the class to vote!" Mommies get it. They're smart like that.
So, tonight he swore he's going to start blogging. Again. So I have to show him to to log in and actually post. Again.
He's a "learn by doing" kind of guy so the fact that I have shown him a couple of times means NOTHING with the lack of use. ( he says I have to play fair and admit he has a VW in his brain... waah!)
Anyway, he's saying he should post about his job (which are funny stories, I guarantee you! He works in a preschool with a bunch of 3 and 4 year olds and some adults who are on the same level. As CO-WORKERS!). He told me it's going to be about child... rearing.
"Because that's what it should always be called. 'Here, I've reared your child'."
It goes along with Baby SITTING, right?