Maybe we will try Mrs. Piggle Wiggle instead

Aiden took Alex on a "man date" last night. They see very little of each other since Aiden started working so they went to re-connect. It was great to see them come home laughing about stupid boy things. Aiden came in the bedroom and wanted to know when Alex's sense of humor became so *ON*. They were in the shoe department at Shopko looking at shoes, I know, big shock! Aiden pointed out some Hannah Montana shoes to Alex and said they were totally him. Alex said they are more Aiden than him. But then Aiden pointed out some sparkely ones and said those must be for Alex. He just laughed along and said "yes, those are TOTALLY me". He is so funny.

Annie is learning to hold her own in the sarcasm riddled house. A couple of months ago we were in Ellensburg doing the Dad's weekend drop off and there was, as usual, a lot of people in the parking lot. What is it about McDonald's in Ellensburg that attracts that specific type of people in such great numbers? Yes, there are 'normal' looking folks (after all, we were there to add to the normalcy. ha!) but there's always such a high percentage of those people. In Moscow we refer to them as *da da dun dun dun da dun duh dunnnn* (think dueling banjos) and everyone knows what we are talking about. In Ellensburg it's just MORE.

Anyway, there was this woman in knit shorts that were riding so far up I think they were actually lodged in her intestines, and she was NOT SMALL. I know I'm not small. I wear appropriate clothing, I think, for my size.

Aiden and I are so not the epitome of what things should be but we have a great time making snarky comments about strangers. Sometimes it's kind but mostly we're snotty. One of our favorites is "the sad part is they looked in the mirror this morning and thought: I look GOOOD!"

So this woman was walking to the door and we were looking for a place to park. As we drove by I said "oh, that's hot" ala Paris Hilton. Annie asked what that means. Um, it means Mom better watch herself better. I told her it means something is hot; like a stove. She said that must be why that woman pulled her shorts up so high; she was hot.

I about peed my pants.

So today Annie brought me an Amelia Bedelia book to read. I made her read it instead. I know I have read them to her before but she never really paid any attention, I guess. Since she was reading it she had to actually pay attention to the plot. It was the one where Amelia Bedelia is on her first day of work as a maid for Mrs. Rogers who has to be absent and tells Amelia Bedelia to just do exactly what the list says. So she starts with "changing the towels". She can't understand why or how exactly she is to do it so she takes scissors and she changes them. Then she has to draw the curtains. Annie didn't know what that meant so I told her. She said "she's going to DRAW them, Mom." Sure enough, she gets out a pad of paper and draws those curtains.

We turn the page and see that Amelia Bedelia is to "dust the furniture". And she's in the picture looking at a box of Dusting Powder from the bathroom. Annie sees what is coming, turns the page to see the maid on the couch DUSTING the furniture ("in MY house we UNdust the furniture" Amelia Bedelia says) and before she even reads a word on the page she looks at me and says

"That woman should have hired someone with a BRAIN!"

a couple pages later the chicken gets dressed and the meat fat gets trimmed (think brick a brack). Annie looks at it and proclaims "she's an idiot".

Before you judge me know this: I love that my kids get sarcasm and wit. Life is so much more fun this way.