What did you say in the last 24 hours?

Get up now Get up now Get up out of bed

Wash your face Brush your teeth Comb your sleepy head Here's your clothes And your shoes

Hear the words I said Get up now Get up and make your bed Are you hot? Are you cold? Are you wearing that?

Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?

Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat

Don't forget you got to feed the cat

Eat your breakfast

The experts tell us it's the most important meal of all

Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall

Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today?

Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon

So you must play

Don't shovel

Chew slowly

But hurry

The bus is here

Be careful

Come back here

Did you wash behind your ears?

Play outside Don't play rough Would you just play fair?

Be polite Make a friend Don't forget to share

Work it out Wait your turn Never take a dare

Get along Don't make me come down there

Clean your room Fold your clothes Put your stuff away

Make your bed Do it now Do we have all day?

Were you born in a barn? Would you like some hay

Can you even hear a word I say?

Answer the phone

Get Off the phone

Don't sit so close

Turn it down

No texting at the table

No more computer time tonight

Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up

Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?

Saying thank you, please, excuse me

Makes you welcome everywhere you roam

You'll appreciate my wisdom

Someday when you're older and you're grown

Can't wait 'til you have a couple little children of your own

You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly

But right nowI thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me

Close your mouth when you chew

Would appreciate

Take a bite

Maybe two

Of the stuff you hate

Use your fork

Do not you burp

Or I'll set you straight

Eat the food I put upon your plate

Get an A,

Get the door

Don't get smart with me

Get a Grip

Get in here I'll count to 3

Get a job

Get a life

Get a PhD

Get a dose of...I don't care who started it

You're grounded until your 36

Get your story straight

And tell the truth for once for heaven's sake

And if all your friends jumped off a cliff

Would you jump too?

If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before that

You're too old to act this way

It must be your father's DNA

Look at me when I am talking

Stand up straight when you walk

A place for everything

And everything must be in place

Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about

Oh! Brush your teeth

Wash your face

Get your PJs on

Get in bed

Get a hug

Say a prayer with Mom

Don't forget I love you

**KISS**

And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends

You don't need the reason why

Because Because Because Because

I said so I said so I said so I said so

I'm the MomThe momThe momThe momThe mom

Ta-da
Words by Anita Renfroe Copyright 2007 Bluebonnet Hills Music/BMI

There Are No Words

I've been thinking over the last few days how best to mark this Mother's Day. I wish desperately that my muse were hanging around and I could write a poem. Or that my laptop were working so I could compile a video. Or that I had more than 5 bucks in my pocket today and could do something fabulous for my girl, the mother of our 3 beautiful children.

So, I'm sitting here trying to draft some clever, amazing blog about this woman I love so dearly. After all, she is the world's greatest mom. She has always said in our relationship and marriage that she loves me 4th best, because her kids will always come first. I can't think of any sweeter thing she could say to me and I certainly wouldn't have it any other way.

Since my wit and humor abandoned me last night while I tossed and turned, and since I am flat broke, without a laptop, and without a muse all I have is this brief blog. I think, perhaps, the following photos could describe my wife's amazing relationship with her children better than I ever could anyway.

ps-Be sure to send some love to the mom in your life that you're so proud of!

How the REST was Won

In the beginning there were the mothers. (The fathers were also there but they often had to go out and do some hunting and gathering so the mothers were left alone with the screaming things they earned their title with.)

The mothers carried the screaming things and learned to appease them with rocking, singing, food, diaper changes, and by never EVER putting them down. Even for a second.

The mothers forgot that bathrooms had doors. Except that one time when they, in sleep deprived zombie mode, closed it. The pounding and crying which ensued was enough to remind the mothers never to do that again.

The mothers got up in the middle of the night for more appeasing attempts. They lost sleep and energy. Their huts were completely disorganized as were their thoughts (if they had any at all)(which they might have if they had gotten some sleep).

The mothers sat up listening for sounds of breathing on the screaming things' monitor and worried over every sniffle, sneeze, and cough. They were on a first name basis with the witch doctor who specialized in screaming things and they had the number on their speed dial.

Through all this, and more, the mothers loved the screaming things and called them babies.

And the babies loved the mothers.

As time marched forward many things changed. Banks realized the stay at home mothers did not want to have to unload all the accouterments just to make a deposit.

Viola! Drive thru banking!

Some mothers were not about to deal with washing all those diapers.

Two solutions: diaper service and Pampers (Oh, God Bless Pampers!).

The mothers even banded together and demanded (and got) portable battery operated swings.

Little tricks were learned and the mothers shared these hard won insights with each other. Being the mother became a little bit easier.

One thing, however did not change and that was the fierce love the mothers carried for each of their babies. (They are still babies even if the 'baby' in question is 45).

The mommies knew this was their calling. They knew they were put on this earth solely to love those little screaming babies as much as they could.

But they just wanted 1 hour so they could take a nap.

Not really much to ask for.

So someone decided the mothers should get that nap.

Once a year.

And after many millennium of sleep deprivation, the mothers got their nap day; we call it Mother's Day.

********
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms I know and love.

And especially to my mom. She is the mother of all mothers. She is my hero, my best friend, and my mom.

update

We get internet back on Monday. Yay!!!

Spent last weekend at my mom's house. It was great, I don't get to spend enough time with her anymore. The kids were going to Brandon's for the weekend. Since we drove them all the way to Seattle for Labor Day weekend he came to Spokane for his weekend this month. This has never been a big problem (besides for him!) because his mom lives in Spokane so he just stays at her house with them thus killing two birds with one stone; he sees them and his mom gets to see them so I don't have to take them over to her house. Let's face it, if I am going to drive my kids to Spokane to visit a grandma, I'll take them to the good grandma!!

Anyway, after seeing Julie and the family (including the Baby!!!) and getting some good snuggle time in, with the baby not the Julie, and seeing Sabre and her family for a bit I let my mommy buy me some clothes. (I did say she's the best mom in the world, right?) In the middle of shopping I got a call from Brandon to tell me he was taking the kids to a motel and to find out where he could take Alex for urgent care.

Apparently his mom is quitting smoking with the help of some prescription that makes sane and sober people have mood swings and anger issues. It specifically says DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL on the label of this stuff. She is an alcoholic so when she came home toasted she was ready to fight. Brandon is not going to win Father of the Year award any time soon but he is miles up the list from where she is as a parent. He's told me some really sad and tragic stories of things she has done to him in the name of drinking. He raised his voice at the kids and made Alex stand in the corner for standing on her couch. She decided he was being too harsh on them since he only sees them once a month. The conversation went from bad to worse with neither one of them realizing this was in front of all my kids. It ended, according to Brandon, with her telling him to not bother coming to her funeral (let's put the "FUN" back in FUNeral, eh?).

Well, that solved the urgent care issue. Alex had stomach aches for a long time (among other ailments like headaches and back pain) when we were getting divorced. When he went to therapy it came out that those symptoms are how his body deals with stress. So when he sat through a huge fight, heeeeeere's the stomach aches! Shocker.

I told Brandon he should just bring the kids out to my mom's to sleep and then see them in the morning before he headed home. That way he could just go stay at his brother's house or something and not pay for a motel. He decided that he would just bring them out and drive home in the middle of the night. I ended up putting my mom on the phone with him, after what felt like 30 minutes of me playing therapist again, to set up the details while I tried on shirts. (I'm telling you, my mom could kick your mom's butt!)

The kids were more than happy to come to grandma's house, the weekend was fantastic, I now fit into another size down in the jeans department and therefore own 2 pairs that are slightly too big but still good and one that fits but will be infinitely more comfortable 5 pounds from now. And will look better when I start doing some massive crunches to get rid of the abundance of muffin top I'm sporting. We spent Sunday playing Trivial Pursuit and mom learned it's okay to cheat a little if everyone's on board. We were playing with the kids' questions since NO WAY would it have ever ended if we played on the adults' questions. Who knows if she really knew the answer but I "helped" by telling her it was not "standing cow". Can you figure out what the answer was? She did. She's the best and the smartest!

Then we played full house hide and seek. Ohmygosh it was fun! The kids totally get it (except Annie who wants to hide with you so she has someone to talk to) and Ashley took my hiding place I found and even I couldn't find her there. I totally forgot. Luckily, Grandma accidentally found her before we really gave up. She was NOT going to come out until we found her. Maybe we should discuss "olley olley in come free" before we play again if she's going to be that good.

Anyway, we had a blast and now two of my friends from our complex want to go have a girls' weekend in Spokane and stay at mom's house. We'll have to see if we can find a weekend that all the daddies can handle it. Maybe Amy's kids will go to her mom and dad's house (also in Spokane) so her husband doesn't go nuts with 4 boys on his own.

Mom, what do you think?