Dear linksys 7,
I don't know who you are. I don't really care. What I do know is that, thanks to you being unsecured, I have free internet in my living room. As long as I sit on the right part of the couch and hold the laptop just so. I would like to thank you for this opportunity to filch things that previously cost me a lot of money on a monthly basis. I want to say I'm sorry if I'm slowing down your speed at all. I also would like to request that you not turn off your computer anymore as it causes my own (stolen) internet connection to be gone. Unless Shaila takes pity on us and lets us log into their internet, which I doubt since I'll never ask, you are my sole provider. It's like a drug dealer trying to sell carrots instead; it might be better for me (so I'll be productive) but it's not what I want from you, whoever you are.