Sunday, January 11, 2009

I wipe butts over the phone

Annie has this friend Addie who she has been hounding me for a playdate with. I finally remembered to send a note to her mom with our phone number. Whenever I get notes like that I mean to call. I just set the note down... somewhere!... and I will call the next day.

Two months later I find it and feel too dumb to call. The last time this happened I finally called and had to leave a message (my nemesis!). She called me back and I never called back again. Then they moved. Oops!

So Annie gave Addie the note and Friday evening my phone rang. A little voice asked for Annie. Then these 2 kindergartners proceeded to plan a play date.

I did nothing to stop it because I thought Addie's mom had suggested something and was letting Addie run it by Annie to run by me. Not the most economic way but hey, let's have them grow a little, right?

Then Alex got on the phone with Addie's brother and FINALLY I got handed the phone with the mom on the other end. she does exist!

She asked me what the going plan was.

Okay, I don't know because the kids have been planning this with your guidance on that end. Right? No.

Now that I have been listening to these kids talk I am on the phone with another mom. Must be time to prove I'm a true mother; Ashley came out of the bathroom and showed me her butt crack had stuff crusted on and then told me there's a poop emergency in the bathroom. Great.

I tried to have her go stand in the bathroom for a minute while I talked to this mom. No, she'd rather start to sit her poop crusted bum on the living room carpet.

I grabbed her up and carried her to the bathroom where I found poo smeared all over the toilet seat. Ewww!!!! Okay, grab a wipe for her bum. That's easier if there's wipes in the container. Go look in their room, those wipes are empty, too. Head to the living room, stepping over and around the older kids who are tailing me, and the laundry pile I'm working on, find the wipes, carry them back to the bathroom and start cleaning off the poop.

The entire time this woman is trying to set up a play date. I know my track record at calling back and I love Annie and want her to have this so I'm not asking for a 5 minute break from the call. I'm trying to schedule things and answer questions. She's interested in becoming friends, which I normally would appreciate but now I'm huffing and puffing and scatter brained more than normal.

I finally had to admit: I'm not usually so disorganized and I CAN carry on a conversation. You're not sending your daughter to a crazy woman's house, I just have a 4 year old running around with poop on her butt.

I don't know why I said that. But I'm glad I did. She started laughing and said we're more alike than we knew: They have a 3rd grade boy, a K girl, and a 3 year old to our 3rd grade boy, K girl, and 4 year old. She knew exactly what I was going through.

She didn't even know Addie was making phone calls and was handed the phone with expectations but no explanations.

This woman may become my best friend.

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