Sunday, June 29, 2008

and he's still a better person than I

Yesterday may have been the craziest day I have experienced in a long time. In order to tell the story I have to add just a bit of back story. Otherwise you'll never fully understand, no matter who you are.

First, I have this really bad habit (several, actually) of falling asleep with the light on. The light is on my side of the bed so Aiden, who has a really bad habit of his own, gets out of bed and turns it off for me instead of kicking me to turn it off. lol A couple of weeks ago he went to go turn it off and hit his knee on the corner of a dresser drawer (guess what's on his side of the bed?), saw stars, commenced with some "oathing" and has had a huge bump and now a bruise ever since.

Second, the girls have a rule that they cannot have water in their bedroom. This may seem like an easy rule; if it does stop reading because you don't know our family at all. Their bedroom is across from the bathroom. It is easy to sneak water in and make a huge tea party mess. It is not uncommon for them to be told to go play and come back 20 minutes later sopping wet. They are quiet and they are sneaky. They know water games inside are not okay.

I promise this all has to do with each other, hang in there.

Third, Brandon is awful about visitation. Since December of last year he has had the kids four, maybe five times. So when he was supposed to have the kids for two weeks starting yesterday (can you see where this is going?) and canceled because he could not find a daycare that had openings for the kids for two weeks, I was less than shocked. And I was thrilled that I don't have to do a three month recovery on the issues raised by having gone there for that long. But the point there is they are supposed to be at his house.

Okay... deep breath: we got up at the crack of dawn (4 am ) Friday morning due to dang allergies. I was incredibly tired all day. I did score an hour nap but I don't think it helped much. Later, I ended up running a freaking daycare in the backyard. We had Malcolm from upstairs come down and play in the sprinkler with us while the other kids napped and his mommy got 2 quiet minutes. Malcolm is great and we love him. Then the other kids started showing up. Alex's friend Jared is a great kid, but Alex loses control around older kids sometimes since he is so used to playing with the girls. Then these two other kids come out. I like them. I don't mind at all that Aiden saw them and invited them around back. I do mind that I was the only grown up out there and it was HOT. There was water balloons someone brought with them, sprinkler, 6 beach towels, ring toss, horseshoes, the velcro catch games (2), a soccer ball, kick ball, 6 bottles of Gatorade, and six kids who would not leave the control to the hose alone so Nemo kept getting flipped over and aimed at people since once they righted him they could not keep their hands off.

It was crazy. Later that night when I discovered I had forgotten to sunscreen my face I informed Aiden I would not be taking the kids to the outdoor birthday party on Saturday. He said that was fine, he would take them. Then I sent him to the ER to get his new streaky bruises under and behind his knee looked at. He came home at 2 am, tried to wake me up but I was too tired to even notice he was gone anymore let alone be told he's back, and eventually went to bed.

Saturday morning looked like a normal day. I got up, the kids were reading, they requested oatmeal and I gave it to them. Annie ended up dumping a ton all over her chair (this is why we sit all the way on the chair) and the wall. I cleaned that up and tried to find room in our strangely full sink since we had not done the dishes from the night before with all the sunburn sleepiness and ER visiting going on. They decided to watch their rented movie again so I decided to take a bath. Riiiight. That was a fantastic idea. I came out of the tub to find Annie and Ashley on their second bowl full of water in the middle of the living room. It seems that some of their Gatorade they had left from the night before spilled a bit as they tried to open it. So their answer was to pour the two leftover portions in a big popcorn bowl, if you will. Then they had a grand splashing. Once the level was too low for their liking, they added water. About halfway through the second bowl of splashing I discovered them. I told them to get in the tub and then I got Aiden out of bed. It's 10 am, I figure "get up and help". He got up and helped by cleaning up the mess. Meanwhile I made the girls get naked for a shower, then they got to stand outside on the welcome mat (irony rocks) while I decided if they were allowed to live here anymore. They got spanked, showered, and a HUGE timeout.

I finally broke down and took them out to play. I had to go grab my sunglasses so I told them to go out to the playground and I was 20 seconds behind them, tops. I came out and they were no where to be seen. I found them a few minutes later coming back from asking a friend to play. Given the last post, I sent Annie inside for another time out. Then we made lunch. I tried to get Aiden up for that (for the 20th time that day) but nothing. Then we went back out to play. I was putting sunscreen on Ashley and Annie said to me that I put too much on but that Aiden does it just right. So I got really mad (this was not a good day thus far and she was in no position) and told her she could just wait for Aiden to get out of bed to put hers on before she could come outside. He did get up for that (after she and Ashley woke him up 5 times) and came outside for a bit.

The scheduled birthday party started and I went with Aiden, Matt, and Shaila to the other side of our building to hang out. I had said I would not go. I decided I would amend it to go without another grown up. Aiden fell asleep sitting in the chair and I sent him back inside. At this point he knew I was upset with him. After the party the Hardy's decided to head to Reaney park to some event that was going on and included free food. They were nice enough to let me invite myself and the kids along with them. When we got there the event was over and they were breaking everything down. At this point I took the kids and what may be my last $30 and went to Sella's, a local fantastic pizza place.

The AC, if there was AC, was not making a difference. They kids sat next to the window which I am sure didn't help. So I'm roasting, we're waiting for food, and coloring on the place mats (you're supposed to). Then Annie whines about not being able to draw hearts like mine or flowers very well. Then Ashley whines that she doesn't have a yellow crayon. Then they all started in on "why aren't the Hardys here? Why didn't we stay at the park and go swimming? Why can't we eat Nooooooowwwwww? I still can't draw like that..." etc etc etc. I wanted to ask where the shotgun was but the waitress came out with our dinner so things settled down. Until my calzone arrived. Ashley took one look at it and informed me that she is not allowed to try a bite of that. (no one was offering) and Annie asked if they call it a "cow zone" because it looks like a dead cow. (what? they are big but dead cow big? and where's she heard of that?)

We came home and I put a movie on the electronic babysitter. I got stuck hearing a lot of whining about going outside again. Listen, I like outside, too but I was melting. I was not going. Aiden finally got up, the kids went to bed half an hour later, we watched a movie and went to bed. I got up this morning with my allergies in a fast retreat but Aiden is still in bed. He'd better think twice before repeating yesterday. I love him but I was mad as all hell at the guy who would not get up and help with my day that spiraled quickly into the deep realms of hell.


  1. you're freaking hilarious!

  2. Wow...what a day! So much better to read about, then be in the mist of it! You're hilarious! I so would have been at Sella's with you guys. Apparently Matt was wanting some Qdoba.


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