Tuesday, July 01, 2008

To the elephant!... and other melted ideas

The update on my facebook accounts says I want to know what temperature actually melts humans. A friend of ours who lived in Las Vegas IMd me and told me try living there or Arizona. I KNOW those are hotter. I know. But I am still melting, I think.

I got into a whole thing with another friend on myspace in which I assigned myself the role of the wicked witch of the west (seeing as I am mellllltttttinnnnnggg... not for any other reasons you may be able to come up with so quickly). She said she's hot, too, but since she has AC (a rarity in this town) she says she should not complain. Then she guessed I was ready to kill. At which point I assigned myself the new role of Miss Hannigan from "Annie". But only the one played by Carol Burnett. I love how she says "Killll killlll killlllllllllllllll."! I want to use it now, but I can't seem to work it into the conversations I am trying to be inspired by Kate (ala John and Kate plus 8).

This woman is inspirational to me. Here she is, just wanting one more kid and she gets 6. And now they are all 3. I truly think three may be the hardest age for both parent and child. There are harder ages, I'm sure. But three must be the most mutually frustrating. I think you hear "terrible two's" because it alliterates well. But they turn three and you throw them a party because they are so cute and learning so much and you LOOOVVVEE them so much!!!!

the only reason you throw a party when they turn four is to celebrate the fact that you did not murder them somewhere in the middle of three.

But I digress. I have started DVRing this show so that I can watch this woman who wants to kill her husband and chants "I can make it through this day" and still loves her kids to their faces and behind their backs (sometimes harder) while also allowing herself a bit of sarcasm thrown in. I don't know where I was going with this. Oh yeah, I can't be Mommy Hannigan if I want to be inspired properly by Kate.

ANYWAY, it's hot. It's really really hot. Yesterday it was even hotter. Today it's only in the 70s and it's raining off and on. We welcome this break in the weather like a UPS delivery on your birthday.

But yesterday it was melt in your chair hot. Even the shade was hot. And there was the mugginess. ick.

Aiden and I decided to go search out Boyer Park and see what it's all about. It's a park (surprise!) on the Snake River. It has swimming, boating, camping, a little motel/grill/convenience store, and a very little playground but it was fun! It's about 18 miles from here so it was a fairly short drive through Palouse farm country. Ashley loved getting to see the horses and sheep and cows all the way there. We ended up driving behind some dude on a tractor forever. This may be a good time to inform you we had decided to see what life would be like if we gave up all use of exaggerations in our conversations. Turns out we didn't even like talking to ourselves so we gave up the giving up. Rehab is for quitters, right? Oh, and by "dude" I mean ancient old man with a keg belly and hair in all kinds of places but NOT his head.

The heat was the driving force behind the trip to the park. The realization of the need to go came from the craziness that we found ourselves in as we were getting ready for our day. (the kids were nowhere in sight. This was strictly adult idiot time). We had the CD player going and were listening to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Hopefully you've seen this movie. If you have not, you should try it. At least read the IMDB plot line. The gimmick is that they take a bunch of "current" music (Nirvana, Madonna, Elton John, Sound of Music, etc etc) and use the lyrics to tell a story set at the turn of the century.

We are both music lovers so we get a little out of control with it even without our brains meltin in our heads. And we were both in drama in high school. So here we find ourselves singing along to these songs using WAY more facial expression and body language than is necessary. It helps that there's a lot of duets so we can play off each other. THEN it became a need to sing the filler operatic male voice during the parts where we had nothing else to sing. (and NO ONE knows the words). Aiden decided he can't sing it but he can do "this" (picture a lot of wide gesticulating). "JUST LIKE CAMP!"

I don't know about that. The only camp I ever went to was Girl's Camp and there was some bad acting but not to that degree.

The only thing I can contribute is that in one of the songs the leads are singing a duet inside an elephant shaped room. Between that song and the one before it a character, who wants to see what the courtesan will do with the play write in her "lair", as it were, yells "to the elephant!!". This is the only thing I have to contribute to the madness.

We were being loud, we were laughing a LOT, and the neighborhood was outside playing on the playground. Yeah, we realized later they could not hear us over the dull roar the kids were making but at the time we couldn't stop laughing at ourselves and how crazy it must sound through the open window. And THEN we tried to think of who would be out there that could be pictured doing the same thing with their husband. It was a short list. And yet somehow the funniest part.

Anyway, this is a lot of nothing but if you are around and hear one of us say it's just like camp and/or someone declare "TO THE ELEPHANT" you'll now understand it is just that we are not medicated against melted brain in any fashion. You should proceed to dump us in the ice cold river where we can freeze our brains back into some form of solid matter that will hopefully not look akin to Swiss cheese by the time it's over.

If I ever figure out (or bother trying) how to upload pics to here, I'll throw some up from Boyer park.


  1. Were you at girl's camp the year we had to do the skits and our ward did Lame Man and Le Mule and one of the b'ham wards misunderstood their "charity" assignment and did "chastity" instead?

  2. by the way - you crack me up!

  3. I absolutely was there! That was the year I told Kay VanderVeen to take me down from this hell hole, if I remember correctly. Also the year of the "biffy key" song. Do you remember that? I was singing it to Aiden who didn't get it. To explain the real thing behind it, I had to quote "how do you like your steak/stake? Rah rah rah/raw raw raw!" (that is harder to type than say)

    You crack me up, too. I love you!

  4. And maybe chastity is a different kind of charity?

    Or the b'ham wards are that dumb. (having each been in one we can vote, I say "yes!")

  5. I feel so priveledges to have the rights to your blog!!! Yay! But dang, now I can't ever talk bad about my weird neighbors! Haha! Just joshing...we think you guys are great! Especially when you are taking my kids from me and bringing me frozen lemonades! Wow I scored!

    You are too funny. I love all your posts so far! See you are great at this thing. Admit it, you are so hooked! So sometime we should all hit boyer park together! How fun would that be!?!

    BTW, since this is already the longest comment in history, since I showed you the "button" to post pictures, I expect pictures real soon. Since we don't see you nearly enough! Hehe...I think I'm tired!

  6. Dang...I so just did it...that wasn't Matthew...that was all me!!!

  7. Shaila, I don't know why you want to read this stuff. You're there for all of it. I was thinking last night how I have nothing interesting that happens that you are not there for. Really, I need to get a life.

    And I can't talk smack about you guys either. This blows. lol

    We are the lucky ones when it came to neighbors. Maybe we're all lucky. It could have been more of those creepy twins instead of decent people who keep us giggling.


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