Saturday, March 07, 2009

A Fish Called...

My friend Stephanie works at a pet store in Moscow. We were looking for free fun today and decided to go visit her at work and see the fish.

She's told me before how there are freaky fish. One of the freaky fish is the Beta fish. Apparently you can slap them in between two wet paper towels on the counter while you clean their bowl out. Awesome. This is the kind of pet fish I need.

I asked her for a demonstration of the awesome beta powers of survival but all I got was an offer to buy my own and she'd come over and show me at my own house.

No way was I going to buy a freakin' fish. This family had fish in the past and it loses the allure quickly. Then you just have those damn things stinking up the place. And 25 cent goldfish don't die nearly as easily as you'd hope. I mean, think.

Anyway, we ended up buying a damn fish. It was bound to happen. Aiden doesn't believe me that I had NO intention of buying one when we left the house, but I didn't.

On the way home we discussed the naming of the fish.

I suggested we name it blocker. "because then it would be a beta, blocker!" I'm so funny.

Alex suggested Crook the Third. I don't know why "the third" since the first is our cat and there's no "the second" that I'm aware of.

Ashley is hot for "Fishy Fish". But only after she was assured we would lift up it's tail when we got home and make sure it's a boy fish. She's still pretty sure it's a girl. Betas are pretty, can you blame her?

Annie is pretty open to suggestions but didn't offer any of her own up.

Aiden suggested "Merlin" among others.

I also suggested "grandpa Smith". WHY? Because we could then say to Grandma Smith "all Grandpa Smith does is sit around in a bowl of water all day!".

yes, this would be funny ONCE.

We also considered naming it Stephan after Stephanie, the nazi who made us buy it for the demo, or Mack for Mackerel.

At one point I threatened to name the fish "a nameless fish". Then we could say "I have to feed A Nameless Fish" and "Did you change A Nameless Fish's water?" or other silly things.

While naming your pet a phrase makes for a lot of humor, and let's face it, we're all about the humor, naming it after a noun is also fun.

Brandon's uncle has a dog named Fish (he likes to swim) so I thought naming our fish Dog could complete the circuit.

Eventually I decided this fish will be called LUNCH. Not because he looks so delicious but because it's fun to come home from a long day and ask the cats "did you eat Lunch today?".

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