Tuesday, August 05, 2008

An unknown statistic made public

I have this great friend, Julie, who is having her second baby in September. Her oldest is a ten year old boy and this one will be another boy. Once a decade she's having a baby whether she needs it or not, I guess. =)

So we went to visit Julie and see the baby bump yesterday. She was not quite home when we got there so we broke into her backyard (by pushing open the unlocked fence, not really a big crime), found peace with the 'guard dog' who tried to thump his tail on the deck loud enough to either scare us away or make us come pet him, and discovered Julie has purchased a really comfortable hammock. Ashley thought playing with the dog was fun (remember, she's the only one with us for a couple of days) for a minute or two but then she found Julie has a pool. It's just a 3 foot above ground deal but it's more than her 6 inches she has at home and she was bored and wanted to go in.

We stripped her down to nothing and let her go skinny dipping. She thought it was hilarious fun. Aiden doesn't do well in cold water so he couldn't go in with her and I don't skinny dip; I chunky dunk; so I didn't go in either. She had SO much fun having the entire pool to herself. She kept holding on the edge and jumping so high her little butt crack would come out of the water.

Julie finally got home (good for you, reader, as you don't have to hear about the butt crack or picture yours truly nekkid anymore) and we went inside to the AC, a pregger's BFF. Her other dog was inside with one of the cats. We had been wondering about the whereabouts of the other dog. I said it was probably at the pound since she had eaten her way through a garage door (for really reals!), dumped garbage all over the driveway (not on her side of the fence), and taken out the bathroom window screen all in one afternoon recently. Turns out she is now left inside to avoid the running away of the dog. The cat has always been an inside cat but where was the other one?

"She is an outside cat, now," was the answer,"Why? Because she won't stop spraying things."

Turns out the cat knows something is going to change. The belly's getting bigger, the furniture is moving around, the gig is up, the cat's onto her. So she has taken to peeing on EVERYTHING that belongs solely to Julie. Right, Eric's stuff, not peed on. Mason's stuff, no pee. Things everyone uses, nadda. Julie is the one who uses the blender to make smoothies. The cat peed on it. The only person who drinks coffee? Julie. Guess what the cat peed on. (Imagine the aim and acrobatics required to get it right where you want it. That is a determined cat!) Julie told Eric the cat had one more chance and then it was being regaled to the out of doors. She woke up to see the cat backing her behind up to the curtains in the bedroom. Zing! Awake. Snatch the cat, throw her outside, slam the door. Turn around to cool off and see....

The Mr. Coffee has been defiled once again. "In case you need a statistic, it takes three bouts of cat piss to break a Mr. Coffee," she informed us.

Good to know.


  1. Oh my goodness...that's hilarious!

  2. That Mr. Coffee, he's something else. I would've thought he would have died after the first bout. But maybe he only felt like it....


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