Monday, April 27, 2009

My Kid's Family Grapevine

I don't know what it is about me but I marry people with strange family trees.

Aiden is adopted by his aunt and uncle thus making his aunt his mom and his mom his aunt, his cousins his brothers and his brothers his cousins.


Brandon's is worse.

I was married to him for 7 years (give or take the proceedings) and I'm still not sure I have it all figured out.

Brandon's dad, Jim, was adopted by his aunt and uncle. They had also adopted Claudia, a non-blood related member of the family. Claudia has no kids.

Jim has 2 kids with a woman named Linda (who then had like 8 more with some other guy) and had Brandon with Laura.

Meanwhile, Laura had David with some guy from Othello.

Jim and Laura got divorced and Laura married (after an apparently looong line of dating interesting men) Leonard.

Leonard had something like 6 adopted kids from his first wife, and 1 biological kid from his second wife. He and Laura had no kids together.

In case you're feeling lost and have skipped, pick back up here.

So Brandon and I have 3 kids and are divorced. Brandon is now with a girl named Morgan.

Morgan is probably the best thing to ever happen to Brandon. She's whipped him like heavy cream. (I don't know what it means, either, it just sounded good)

The kids went to see them this weekend. Yesterday when we were picking them up in Ellensburg, Ashley got out of the car and announced:

"Morgan is having a baby and I'm gonna be a big sister."

I have a lot of issues with this (not that she's pregnant but that the kids know at 4 weeks. Seriously, she's due in December. Why not wait until after the chance of miscarriage goes down to tell them? I don't want to have to explain the whole thing about why Morgan's NOT pregnant anymore).

Then Annie made it perfect:

"I hope it comes out with a big head like Alex"

Um, Alex's head was 16 inches around when he was born. As far as I can tell (HERE) that's beyond what anyone expects.

I'd only wish for that if Brandon was delivering the baby.

I actually like Morgan.

But the kids' family tree is getting more and more strange!

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