Saturday, May 09, 2009

it's not EBOLA, either.

According to the divorce paperwork, it is my year to have the kids for Mother's Day weekend.

Because I am nice, I let Brandon get them for the weekend so his mom's 'thing' would go well.

And Annie has fifth disease. Let me quickly explain: fifth disease is basically a cold with a rash. This makes everyone ask what is wrong with her. In fact, Annie hasn't even had a freakin' cold; just the rash. Her doctor (and the 9 zillion websites I looked at) said kids are only contagious while they are incubating this virus. Once the rash shows up, no more problem (except the questions start).

Fifth disease is caused by human parovirus B19. This is known to cause a small risk (10%) of miscarriage in women who are in their first trimester. Like Morgan.

Yeah. Here we go:

Because I am dumb I called Brandon (at noon) to let him know everything was fine, the pediatrician said there's no potential problem, Annie and Morgan are both good to go.

At 4, as we were halfway to Spokane, Brandon called and said he can't believe I didn't tell him about this before (um, does TUESDAY not count as "before"!?!) and that if anything happens to the baby that he is going to 'destroy' me.

I informed him I had checked everything on our end and that I refuse to accept responsibility for the baby in his girlfriend's uterus.

"because you refuse responsibility for anything," he said,"but that's okay."

I hung up.

It went on like this:
I had called Annie's doctor, got the all clear.
Morgan called her ob/gyn, got the red flag.
Morgan called Annie's doctor, got the all clear.
Morgan decided let's still see the kids and I'll wash my hands a lot.
Brandon called Morgan's ob/gyn, got the red flag, told them what Annie's doctor said and got "well, it all depends on how much risk you want to take". THEN (and only then if I got my facts right) he told the ob/gyn that she has already had the rash for 5 days.

Y'know how if you call the ER and want advice as to whether to come in or not and they will NEVER tell you you're fine? Because they don't want to be wrong and end up being sued?
OB/GYNs do the same thing! If they had said "well, yeah, you're being a dumbass and really this is NOTHING to worry about" and then something did happen, Brandon would totally sue them. So they can't say that.

And I get that maybe the other two are in the 4-14 day incubation period. EXCEPT, they were at Brandon and Morgan's 2 weeks ago (strangely fits in the incubation period, huh?). So she's already been exposed by Annie from then.

Anyway, while we took the kids to Laura's (his mom), let her make them dinner, Brandon decided the whole thing was off. They were not going to see Annie or the other two, and he could not come down to get see them while leaving her in Spokane. If he had come to see them, he might carry the noncontagious virus back to Morgan.

I feel like Rachel to his Ross in this clip: In case you don't know/remember, Ross was scaring the girls through the whole episode trying to get them to learn the art of "unagi".

I sarcastically pointed out that they better not stay at Laura's house because the kids were in the house for 1 hour and maybe that's enough for the danger to strike. She'd better not hug Morgan or Brandon, just in case. "you're right. Thanks for thinking of it," was his reply. OMG, it's missing my sarcasm!

So they drove to Laura's, dropped off presents, and left. But they wouldn't come by her house unless we took the kids somewhere else while they did their exchange of stuff.

And long story short, the kids are at Laura's house for the weekend their dad screwed up.

**** In case you want to know Brandon's version of what fifth disease is, his mom was on the phone with a friend trying to get more info so she could try to convince Brandon his was stupid about it. Her friend asked what is fifth disease and Laura said it's something like a cross between small pox and the measles.

WTF?!?! Apparently this is what you get as 'knowledge' when you listen to Rational Brandon's version of life.


  1. Oh Lord. My kids have had fifth disease before. It's not that big of a deal AT ALL. Don't you love it when people overreact?

  2. Ummm, why didn't you just keep the kids if it's your weekend anyway? Dumba** and his mother deserve NO FAVORS from you.

    The whole overreacting thing just sounds pretty much par for the course for him.

    My favorite part was his answer to you not accepting responsibility for the baby in his girlfriends uterus. What a dumbsh*t.

  3. Because I am nice, Val. And because they were SO upset about not staying at her house.

    And because it's Mother's Day, at 8:30, and I JUST woke up.

    Yeah, divorce has it's benefits.

    I'll still get them for MOST of the day, but I got to sleep in. (maybe 8:30 is not sleeping in for you but I have a kid who is up at 6 every. single. morning.)


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